Last week, I was in Nova Scotia with my family. We stayed for a week, splitting our stay between Halifax, where my in-laws live, and White Point Beach Resort on the southern shore. The highlight for me, this time, was the ocean. Talk about “meditating on the infinite” (the theme of my recent posts)… the ocean exudes infinity! The sound, the smell, the feel of it, the sight of it. The ocean filled my senses and my mind and seemed to fill every cell in my body, till I felt at times dissolved in the landscape around me… empty and full at the same time. Empty of “me” and full of ocean. I have the same feeling too during Kirtan: full of the sound and rhythm of music and mantra, and empty of “me.” That feeling comes and goes, but while it’s there – in that absence of thought, that absence of “me” – there is something else present, something immense, powerful, deep.
On our last day at resort, I had an early-morning walk on the beach with my mother. We were alone on the ocean shore, the sun low in the sky, the mist slowly lifting, the air cool yet somehow warm.
We sat on a bench and gazed over the endless water and sky. I closed my eyes and heard the Gayatri mantra.
oṃ bhūr bhuvaḥ suvaḥ / Om, with body, mind and spirit,
tat savitur vareṇyaṃ / We meditate on that glorious Sun, source of all life,
bhargo devasya dhīmahi / Radiant remover of darkness.
dhiyo yo naḥ prachodayāt / May it enlighten our minds.
– Rigveda 3.62.10
I can’t say if I had willed the mantra into my mind, or if it arrived there of its own will – or a combination of both. Regardless, it was a moment of purna: fullness, wholeness, completeness, perfection. In that moment, joy… sadness… life… death… reunion… separation… all the dualities of life… seemed to arise within me, tugging at my heart strings. Would we ever sit like this again, she and I, gazing at the ocean side by side?
Illumined by the rising sun, to the soundtrack of ocean waves and Gayatri mantra, I took in the bittersweetness of it all. And somehow, I felt I could ask for nothing more… overwhelmed by an immense love, an immense power, appearing now as joy, masquerading now as sadness… the ocean washing over me, polishing me as it does the smooth rocks along the shore.
Writing this down, I reflect that one does not need the ocean, or holidays, to experience such moments. They are to be found all around us, and within us, at every moment. But sometimes, a change of scenery does help to reveal something forgotten deep within the heart.
My trip also presented me with moments of intense discomfort. The details are irrelevant. My point is, these moments gave me the opportunity to practice contentment. Santoṣa (“santosha”), translated as contentment, is one of the five foundational disciplines (niyamas) listed in Patañjali’s Yoga Sūtras. Could I be aware of my discomfort, my resistance to the situation, and at the same time be content with both myself and those around me? Yes, I feel frustrated… I feel angry… I feel judgemental… I feel anxious… and can I be content, as I watch those feelings passing through? Why take them so seriously? I can see dark clouds passing through the sky and not fret about it. Can I watch these dark feelings passing through my being and not fret about them either? The masters teach that only without fretting, with acceptance and contentment in our minds and hearts, can we see clearly enough to discern the best way forward. Well, it wasn’t easy, I can tell you, and I’m not sure if I “got it”… but it was good practice!
And so life continues, back to normal – or rather, a new normal. As I say at the end of a yoga class sometimes, you’re not quite the same person after your practice as you were before it…
Namaste, friends. I’m glad to be back home, back “at work,” and back with my community!
A reminder of upcoming events:
- Saturday, August 24, 4:30-5:45pm: Kirtan at Vraie Nature Yoga in Chelsea (Free and open to all – potluck snack to follow)
- Friday, August 30, 9:15-10:30am: Free yoga class at Cascades Club in Chelsea (8-week session begins the following Friday)
- Sunday, September 1st, 4:00-5:00pm: Kirtan & band photoshoot at Annie’s Studio in the Woods in Val-des-Monts (Free – potluck dinner to follow)
Please e-mail me for more details, or with any questions/comments. I look forward to seeing you soon.
Hi Zofia! I won’t make it to the first (free) class but I’ll do my best to make it to the next one! Looking forward to seeing you!